Navigating My Crisis of Faith - Part #3

I found myself thinking lately again about the term crisis of faith. I spontaneously thought of this term in March 2024—that’s a year ago! I had never heard of such a term. I did my first Google research that very day and discovered that it is a common experience of Christians - and I am sure in other faiths.. I felt so much better. The comfort came as I experienced that at least one person in the world shared the experience.

On 10 April 2025, I put the term into Google again to see if there was more about this term, and hit the jackpot!

There it was. A post of a personal experience with deep empathy. The story was very similar to mine. This article inspired me to blog about my experience. (See notes below). I decided to put this “phenomenon” on my "Soul Food" blog to reach out to others.

So, where am I today? All healed, with clarity and back on track? "Healed"? No. "Back on track?" Certainly not!

The only thing that is true for me now is, a greater clarity of what a crisis of faith really is for me. It became clear with more online searching that this “condition” was experienced in a very unique way for each person, but there seemed to be some patterns.

What am I learning?

Firstly, the process is painful. Doubts have multiplied. New perspectives have emerged. Some positive and some negative.

Some of the agonising questions come from the Old Testament about the level of violence perpetrated by both the Jewish people and their adversaries.

Yes, I have made some sense out of the past reality of violence in the Old Testament. The book of Job sheds some light on this, but even this book has not answered all the questions. Actually, from further Theological study of the Old Testament last year, and YouTube videos, more questions emerged - but so did some answers. The New Testament has other questions and issues, but far fewer in comparison to the Old Testament. 

Am I cured?

The answer is no. Maybe cured is the wrong word. It has been almost a year now, and I still find myself in the journey of a crisis of faith. If I am honest, I am painfully still stuck as I write this.

How am I handling this crisis?

1. I know I need to trust God, that He is ultimately good, loving and sovereign.

This is the clear message in the Bible. "For we walk by faith, not by sight" 2 Corinthians 5:7. This encourages my reliance on God's promises and unseen realities rather than solely on what is visible, emphasising a life lived through trust and belief. God is not fazed by my questions. I believe He values my honesty, as in Job’s many questions.

2. There is a part of me that still pushes away, and I feel disconnected from God and God's people. I want to move away from the fellowship of the community of Christ. But, I know I need to keep in contact with a supportive and healing community. I seek isolation, but I know this is very unwise.

3. I keep praying and reading the Word of God, seeking answers to the deep questions I still have. The "sword of the Spirit" refers to the Word of God, as mentioned in Ephesians 6:17, and is a powerful tool for spiritual warfare and discernment, used both defensively and offensively.

4. I keep writing, blogging about the Word of God and my journey of faith. I will not give up - by grace!

5. What proof do I have that God exists and that He is involved with humanity every moment of every day? Many of my questions have been raised and dealt with during my theological training, particularly apologetics that I have been doing over the last few years. And, yes, these studies have also raised other questions. Many of these questions are dealt with in other “Soul Food” posts on this site.

6. I will not be afraid of the difficult, unanswered questions. The Holy Spirit will show me the truth as I keep walking.

"When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth. For he will not speak on his own, but he will speak whatever he hears." John 16:13

7. I am going against the grain by still reaching out to others through blogging, praying for others, holding small groups that assist with mental health and spiritual growth. I will not give in to the lies of the enemy that want me to believe God is against me.

You may know this powerful promise that I received from 3 independent sources in 2011. I was faced with family conflict and rejection. I never knew of the scripture at that stage.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

This message was given at a time when the Jewish people faced 7 years of slavery that God had told them would happen due to their sin of pursuing other gods.

8. I battle to accept this place that I am in, but the above verses say that I need to see beyond the unseen, which is faith - Hebrews 11 verses 1 and 6.

Acceptance of the reality I am experiencing is not resignation or self-victimisation. It is seeing the bigger picture of God's grace and sovereign will.

9. As I said already. I will not give up seeking answers until God says "Enough now". I still await that tender or tough word from Father God.

I hope this helps you find your way to God, if you don't know him. And if you do know Him, know that He will never give up on us. We are safe in His tender, faithful and loving hands.

Take a look at the following scriptures that emphasise safety and protection in God's hands: Isaiah 41:9-10, Psalm 91:1-2, and John 10:27-29. Here God speaks of His unwavering love and care for his people, ensuring their security and eternal life.

Thanks for reading this.

References

Here are the links to the first articles of “The Crisis of Faith”:

Go to Part #1

Go to Part #2